It's like trying to fit that one puzzle piece in, you know it wont, but you keep trying to make it work...

I feel like you've put me on this pedestal...and I'm scared to death cause I'm not this person of perfection that you've made me out to be.  You're expectations are too high, out of reach. I'll never be who you claim I am. I'm..

Nothing.

You don't really get me, or my life. How could you? How could you understand? So we pretend it never happened, pretend everything is ok. But I don't wanna play make believe with you anymore. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with you all the time, always afraid to speak, afraid to ask for your hand.....

Cause I'm drowning.

You've already told me once that my life was to blame for our first downfall. I was to blame. Because I got a little weak, because I was a little scared. And all I wanted was you, I needed you. You turned your back on me when things got a little rough. And now you think I've changed.

I haven't.

I'm just pretending. Isn't that the way you like it? Pretending everything is going to be ok when we really know it's just gonna blow up in our face later? But no, I'll play your game. I'll tell you my life is going good, great even. Tell you I'm happy and smile and laugh, just to make sure YOU'RE happy. To make sure I don't upset YOU again. God forbid if I say or do the wrong thing. I'm always watching my every step, to make sure I don't step on any toes.

This game is fun isn't it?

You're not me. Maybe if you were and you lived in my shoes for 10 minutes, you'd realize how strong I really am. Yeah I remember, remember that day you called me weak. I've made mistakes and so have you, that doesn't make me weak. I've come out pretty well for all the insanity I've been dealt. Before you point your fingers make sure your hands are clean. You just don't get it. Why can't it be enough that I love you and want to be there for you? That I want to make sure you're happy? When will I evet be what you need? Why is it that I'm always needing you, wanting you, loving you and it's never the other way around?

But I'll sit here and bite my tongue. Cause I'd rather be with you and have you use me as your puppet, break me down, kill what's left of me.

Then for me to not have you at all.